Tipping point: The cost of objectification in the service industry

Warm beer dripped down the bartender’s legs, forming a puddle on the floor beneath her. Her light-wash jeans were soiled, and her thighs became stickier the longer she stood there in shock in front of the customer who poured his drink on her. The man, old enough to be her father, probably did it on purpose.

“He wanted to see how wet he could make me,” said Tayla Clark, a fourth-year media and communications student at the University of Calgary who works in bars to pay her way through school. 

While much of the media attention in recent years has focused on the pervasiveness of sexual harassment in entertainment, academia, tech and politics, less attention gets paid to the service industry, where the problem is widespread. 

A 2023 Western University report found one in two women experience sexual harassment at work. The study showed that the risk increases 66 per cent when work involves exchanging money, and 65 per cent when serving alcohol. 

Fully equipped with manicured nails, shaved legs, and pearly whites, women in the service industry have long had to navigate a complex landscape of expectations, pressures, and objectification. 

Clark calls her service experience challenging. Having worked in four restaurants since the age of 14, the now 22-year-old has been taking steps to leave the industry, reflecting on how the industry consumed her both on and off shift.

“It definitely changed the way I view my own value. The way that I interact with men on every scale, but even if you take the gender out of it, [it changed] how I thought I could get things for a while,” she said. “How can other people help me? How can I help them? Everything is transactional.”

Many restaurants and bars hire women based on appearance and body type, rarely looking at experience or qualifications. Clark, describing herself as a “bottle blonde,” details a history of privileged treatment by management and customers in the industry. 

While a surface-level confidence boost, this type of favouritism promotes hierarchical dynamics among female coworkers, leading to an atmosphere of competition and judgment. 

“It becomes catty really quickly,” she said. “You’re walking on glass.”

Recalling her early days in a nightclub, Clark says she grew to resent her own appearance after six of her coworkers were fired for not fitting the “mold” of physical attractiveness. Instances like these reinforce the belief that a woman’s worth depends on her appearance. 

“We were told to turn around if we couldn’t keep our faces. Shake it off and remember they are paying not only for drinks, but for the experience,” said Clark.

This expectation is not just a personal burden — it is embedded in society’s gender dynamics, according to Amanda Williams, an assistant professor at MRU with a background in gender intersectionality and equity. Williams stresses that gender roles take root from a young age. 

“That’s how these expectations emerge. Because that’s what little girls see, it’s how they are marketed to, it’s how they are presented, and this idea of not asking questions, sitting nicely, not complaining, are all things that are rewarded for girls,” said Williams. 

Tipping culture further exaggerates the problem. For many, tips are a direct reflection of self-worth. A way to quantify how well they played the beautiful server archetype that night leads to a transactional view of relationships.  

“Biting my tongue so I could get a tip happened very frequently,” said Clark. “You’re exhausted because you’re putting on a face for someone who doesn’t deserve it.” 

With a combination of lowered self-worth and money on the line, women will often accept harassment and objectification as a part of the job.

“It was kind of encouraged. We were trained on how to not react instead,” said Clark. “It’s easier to be tolerable towards a bad guest if you can look to a really good manager, and say ‘Okay, at least they have my back,’ but it sucks even more when you watch your management participating in the same thing.”

This dynamic can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Clark admits that at her unhealthiest, she relied on substance abuse to function. Her weight lowered alongside her self-esteem, and Clark recalls being championed by her management for it, then rewarded with more shifts. 

“It’s so difficult because you wanna try and leave, but now that you’re leaving, you’re still dependent on all of these things. You have grown all of these habits,” said Clark.

According to Statistics Canada, nearly half of Canadian women report having experienced ” “some form of harassment or sexual assault in the workplace.”

Addicted to the attention, money or lifestyle, the path out of the service industry is one of unlearning damaging routines. Williams says that women often internalize these societal messages to the point of burnout, leading to long-term psychological impacts.

“Women are told they are worthy to be there as objects, but not as subjects who express their own feelings, views, and opinions,” said Williams.

Both Clark and Williams stress the importance of acknowledging these issues and fostering more supportive work environments for women. 

“Women not being afraid to speak out, seek help, and support one another is crucial,” said Williams. “If we don’t see that happening more, and we don’t talk about it more, it will not change.”

As Clark steps away from the industry, she hopes to reclaim her identity, reminding everyone that a person’s value comes not from their appearance but from their character. 

“When I was younger, I was so excited. It was crushed out of me.”

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